


It Worked Enough

by HashtagPomegranate



Series: Soulmates Make It Work [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Schmoop, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 00:40:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13752600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HashtagPomegranate/pseuds/HashtagPomegranate
Summary: In a world where soulmate marks only appeared after the first time you spoke to your soulmate, Tony had given up hope he would find his.  After Afghanistan he stopped hoping for one. Aliens didn't exactly change that, but he got one anyway.





	It Worked Enough

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting anything in around 8 years but I love the Soulmate tag and wanted to do something where you aren't looking at specific words for years before the happen. This was the result. Let me know what you think.

As a child Tony had a routine.  Jarvis would tuck him into bed, and as soon as the door closed, he would jump up to see if he could find his mark. After all Jarvis had told him all the wonderful stories about how the mark would show who he was meant to be with.  He had done it every night for years.  And then three things happened.

  1. He realized his parents were matched. Second matches for each of them, which theory says makes the match weaker, but matched nonetheless.  While their relationship wasn’t cold, there was always a muted feeling to it.  They seemed to somewhat enjoy each other’s company but didn’t have the need the Tony has always heard came with a bond.
  2. Someone faked a match to claim that Tony was their soulmate. It was easily disproven because the words they had spoken to Tony never appeared on his body.  But it was big news for a news cycle and earned Tony a disappointed sigh from his father with the advice to “keep it quiet next time, boy” and being grounded from his tools until it died down.  By that time it wasn’t like Tony didn’t have an extra set of tools he kept hidden around the house, but it still sucked that he was being punished for something he couldn’t control.
  3. He met Zeke. It was the kind of meeting that had Tony rushing back to his room to see if his fated words had appeared.  He knew down to his toes that Zeke’s first words to him “Stark, huh.  Heard you’ll do big things” would be somewhere on his body.  After he had scoured his body and found nothing, he realized the universe’s soulmate meter was bullshit.  It had to be Zeke. 



He never looked again after that.  Zeke, of course, turned out to be a horrible person, as so many in his life, did.  Only interested for his money and his name. 

But Tony learned to brush past it.  He would laugh at the almost innumberable number of people who tried to fake being his soulmate, but he knew that wouldn’t happen.  Didn’t bother to search for words after any number of parties, gala’s, business meetings, where he would talk to new people. 

He survived college, his parents dying and taking over the business, and a soulmate didn’t seem very important.  Just one more person to take advantage of his fame and money.

And then Afghanistan happened, and suddenly he didn’t want a soulmate because he knew he couldn’t live up.  Realizing the truth of what he had been involved in, how could he deserve someone?  And suddenly instead of not searching, he was actively not looking.  He would towel down while looking at the wall, trying to make sure that even if someone did get saddled with him, they would never have to know.  That he would never have to see their disappointment.

And then came the aliens.

And meeting Bruce Banner, and disappointing Captain America, and learning that Coulson was dead.  And the Wormhole… the wormhole.

He woke up surrounded by practical strangers feeling an uncomfortable mix of relief, fear, and disappointment.  He laughed to cover it up.  No point in showing weakness. 

After his heart stopped pounding, and he had eaten his fill of schwarma, he invited everyone back to the tower.  There was just enough time to point people towards the spare bedrooms before he fell into bed and passed out. 

After morning broke and his slightly cracked windows left the light flooding his room he wandered around in search of coffee.  His own personal kitchen had been trashed but luckily he had put a coffee maker on every floor, literally every floor.  Two floors down he found Black Widow and Hawkeye sitting a table chatting quietly with coffee.

The pot was still half full and Tony couldn’t help but to drink straight from the carafe.  At Hawkeye’s “Hey,” he pulled a second carafe out and started making a fresh pot.

“Don’t forget, Merida, that I paid for this coffee maker.  I drink it how I want.”  He turned back around as the coffee maker started to hiss and burble.  Countertops digging in at his hip he looked at the ‘newest’ recruit.  “How’re you doing? Pretty sure we should all be on a concussion watch.”

He shrugged, “I’ve had worse.”

Tony laughed, “Worse than aliens?”

Hawkeye winced and shrugged.  Sore spot, clearly…

“What about you Natalie.”

Black Widow frowned, “its Natasha.”

“You have so many names, it can be hard to keep track of them.”

She ignored the jab, “I’m fine.  How are you doing?”

Tony turned back to the coffee pot, finished his carafe and set it in the sink, “Fine.”

There was an awkward silence.  “You went through the portal, Stark.  And you seemed pretty shaken…”

“I didn’t keep talking to Hawkeye about his possession…” He was still avoiding looking at them.

“I was wrong about you joining the Avengers.  You should have been recommended, even more than the suit.  You might pretend that you aren’t the person to ‘lay on the wire’ as Rogers said, but that doesn’t make it true.  There’s only a few non-powered people on the team… We need to take care of each other.”

Swallowing thickly he turned back around.  “Physically, I’m fine.  But that fight?  It’s not over.  I don’t,” he shut his eyes tightly pinching the bridge of his nose, “I get the feeling we’re going to be working together a lot more…” 

Natasha nodded, “sit, join us.”

Tony poured one more cup of coffee and sat down with them.  Everything that had to be done; contacting the board, donating towards rebuilding, helping with rebuilding, not to mention all of the work he had to do to get his suit back to full power, that all could wait until he didn’t feel so delicate.  Didn’t feel like the spot in his chest beneath the arc reactor was hollow. 

Besides, there was something really calming about listening to Natasha and Clint keep up their friendly low chatter. 

Tony was about to fall asleep on top of his coffee mug, apparently the six hours he had been in bed weren’t quite enough, when Captain America walked into the kitchen, looking shocked. 

“What’s up Cap?” Tony asked through a yawn.

“I, I think I met my soulmate yesterday.”

Tony just barely managed to hold in a snort.  Of course the Captain would be in awe of that.  Coming from a time where your soulmate was expected to be your be-all-end-all would make a big deal over finding your soulmate.  Not that attitudes had changed completely. 

Clint and Natasha’s head both whipped up.  “Congratulations Rogers.”  Natasha said.

“You know who it was?”  Clint asked.

Steve pushed up his sleeve to show off the tight “Captain” covering his bicep.  “I have no idea who it is.  It only just showed up this morning.  There were so many people yesterday… How am I supposed to find them?”

Tony could feel two sets of eyes on him after Steve’s question.  “I might be able to pull some camera logs?  At least on the helicarrier.  If you met them during the actual fight you might be shit outta luck…” 

“You, you could do that?”

“Sure,” Tony knocked back the rest of his coffee, set his mug down and said, “hey Jarvis?”

“Sir?” 

“Can you see if you can help the good Captain?”

“Of course,” 

“Anyone who talked with him who started the conversation saying “Captain.””

“Of course, sir.  I will compile a list.”

Tony turned back to Steve, “Jarvis has got this, anyone you talked to within distance of a camera I installed will be put on a list.” 

And there was that smile, the same one from when Tony woke up.  “Thank you Mr. Stark.”

Away went any good feelings, “Yeah, that’s not going to work.  Please don’t call me Mr. Stark.  Makes me feel like I’m in trouble.  Tony will work, and if that’s too informal, come up with something else.”  Tony pushed back from the table.  “Time for me to get to work.  If you need anything, let Jarvis know.” 

That was the only break Tony took for the next week.  Never had he been so happy that Pepper had taken over the company.  Nobody was as good as she was with the fallout after a catastrophe.  She had been Tony’s personal assistant too long for anything else.

That meant Tony didn’t need to worry about the company, not right away at least.  He knew that the company would have a board meeting that Pepper would run, that they would choose a few factories to start putting together materials needed to handle an emergency, that money would be diverted where it would need to go, basically that the press wouldn’t hold Tony’s actions against the company. 

Tony still had plenty to work on; he made his own personal donations to rebuilding, went over the boxes that were given to the citizens of New York City to make sure that everything in there was useful and as up-to-date as it could be, working on updating the Iron Man suit.  Most importantly, in his rare spare time he was suiting up to help with the relief efforts.  There was still rubble to be dug through, heavy things to pick up and move out of the way.  New York could be really good at picking everything up after a crisis but it took time to get things where they needed to go and Tony could speed that up quite a bit. 

Occasionally he would see the other Avengers out while working.  Captain America could be seen on the nightly news helping pull people out of the rubble and Thor seemed to really enjoy helping console the children while helping clean up the city.  Tony had even run into Natasha, Clint, and Bruce at a site, far away from the media, doing what they could.  Running into them finally convinced Tony to step out of the suit for a bit; after all he was team-normal and science-bro.  It made them stop too, just long enough to grab some food and sit in silence, just like with the shawarma. 

Everything he was doing, it was good.  Just not good enough to fill the hollow in his chest.  He still ached, the sparse hours of sleep he found on his cot (only ever after Jarvis or Pepper put their metaphorical or literal foot down) only reminding him of his failures. 

So he continued.  The tower was nearly finished with its repairs.  Even though Tony’s kitchen had been fixed, he still found himself wandering down to what had become the communal kitchen.  There was always a pot of coffee on, and Tony had started having his personal chefs fill the kitchen with food, the kinds that could be easily popped in a microwave before being eaten. 

Back in the lab, he was finishing up repairs on his backup suit, Dumm-E propped right next to him with the fire extinguisher.  The Fire extinguisher almost seemed like a security blanket to the bot, and Tony had given up trying to.  He just desperately hoped that nothing would set the bot off.  Cleaning the foam off of all the nooks and crannies of his instruments was time consuming and a straight-up irritation.

Sparking up the soldering iron, he moved in to work on the right gauntlet.

“Sir.”  Jarvis spoke up.

“Yeah, J?”  Tony didn’t look up from the gauntlet, didn’t want to have to get everything ready again.  Besides years of practice made for steady hands.

“I have finished compiling the list of possible soulmates for Captain Rogers.”

“That took longer than I expected, J.” Tony said absent-mindedly.

“I took the initiative to pull from the cameras in the surrounding area.  There was quite a lot of information to search through.”

“Huh, good thinking, J.  Go ahead and forward it on to the captain.”

“Before I do that, sir, you can be found on the list?”

“What the,” Tony’s hand twitched, moving the soldering iron just enough to spark, which mean that Dumm-E took advantage of his position with the fire extinguisher, and suddenly foam was everywhere.  “Goddamit! Jarvis, what the… what are you talking about?”

Footage popped up on the wall, as Jarvis took over the projector.  It was footage from Germany, the first time that Steve and Tony talked to each other.  And indeed, Tony’s first word to Steve was “Captain.” 

Silence filled his lab as he was finished.  “I don’t have words.  It’s fine.”  He went to remove his shirt, covered as it was in foam.  “Take my name off the list and send it to him.  It’ll give him a good place to start.”

He was wiping off his face with one of the clean bits of his shirt when he heard Pepper walk in. 

“Hi Tony, I wanted to give you a quick update…”  She looked up from her notes, to see Tony, shirtless.  “Tony… Tony you have something on your back?”

Tony looked up and tossed his shirt into a bin.  “Hi Pepper, you’re looking gorgeous as always.”

She looked around noting the foam covering a small section of the lab and Dumm-E attempting to hide in a corner.  “I’m not going to ask about that,” She waved a delicate hand in a motion that encompassed everything in a five foot radius of his workbench. “But Tony, turn around.” 

He figured he would play along, if he had foam on his back, Pepper was sure to wipe it away.

Slightly chilled, he felt her fingers on his back just to the side of his right hip.  Suddenly there was a hum in the air, Tony could tell something bad was about to happen.  “Tony, you have words!”

The excitement in Pepper’s voice felt anachronistic. How could she be happy to find out that someone would be stuck with him?  That someone was meant to join him, to learn about his blood-soaked history, the years of acting the playboy and letting catastrophes happen.

He turned around. “Ignore them.”

She jerked back just slightly.  But then Pepper wouldn’t understand.  She had run into a lovely man while coordinating an event for a charity for the VA.  The man had moved to New York from DC and had applied himself (with SI grants) to making the best Veterans institution in the country while being able to go home to his match.  They were disgustingly cute together.

“But Tony.”

“No, Jarvis strike this from the history.  No one needs to know.”  He turned to Pepper, “I don’t know when it happened, I don’t know who it was, but I don’t need to bring anyone else into the cluster fuck that is my life right now.”

“Can I at least tell you what it says?”

“No!”  He was adamant.  What if it turned out to be someone who died during the invasion, or some random person he had tried to help?  Worse, and it felt as if someone had reached into his body and grabbed onto his lungs.  What if it was Steve?  Steve who had battled in a war, lost everyone he knew, woke up in this new world only to fight aliens?  Steve who was only learning about what this new millennium was like.  Steve who looked at Tony and only saw his father… “I don’t need to know about them.  I need, I need to go.   I think we’re passing Loki off to Thor today.”  He looked around, “Jarvis, have the bots start to clean up.  Nothing that needs a delicate touch.” 

“Of course sir.”

The handoff seemed to go smoothly.  They all arrived on site separately.  Tony, of course, was fashionably late.  Always a good idea to make an entrance.  It wasn’t until all eyes were on him that it felt like he had made an error.  While Thor and Bruce glanced over before finishing up their conversation Steve, Natasha, and Clint were all watching his every step.  Having eyes on him had become a norm, but it was making him uncomfortable.

“Let’s get this party started,” he clapped.  “Thor.  It’ll be good to see you take this bucket of crazy with you.”  He glanced at Loki in his manacles and mask.  Just looking at him caused a wave of nerves start in his stomach and radiate out. 

Thor nodded.  “I will meet with my Mother and Father for them to decide a proper punishment for Loki’s misdeeds.  I cannot predict the length of my trip, however, know I will return to Midgard.”

“I believe you Reindeer Games, can’t leave your true lady love for long.” 

Conversation finished, Tony looked at his options.  Steve was talking to Fury, Maria Hill was watching Loki with eagle eyes.  Bruce, Natasha, and Clint were standing next to each other, though there wasn’t a lot of conversation there.  Clint’s face was tight, as was Bruce’s and they were both wholly focused on Loki.  Considering both of them had to deal with Loki getting into their heads, it wasn’t surprising that neither would relax until he was gone.  So that’s where Tony was needed.

He didn’t make immediate eye contact, “You know you are all welcome to stay with me.  I have more rooms than I know what to do with.  Might not all be up to my standards, but it’s a step up from SHIELD and Calcutta.”

Bruce bit out what could graciously be called a laugh.  “I appreciate the offer, but all I want to do is go back to helping people…”

Tony turned, “You think you can’t do that here?”

Still trained on Loki, “Here has a population density that can be demolished by the Other Guy coming out to play.”

“And Calcutta doesn’t?”  Natasha asked quietly. 

The silence went on long enough that Tony broke back in, “You do you, but there’s always going to be a bed with your name on it here.”

“Us too?” Clint asked?

“Of course, you know how those strong arms of yours get me going?”  Tony didn’t miss the way Natasha’s head whipped around.  “Don’t worry Ginger Spice, I’m down with you joining in too.” He would never mention that the Tower would seem to empty without them.  Pepper may have lived at the Tower until it was completed but she and her match had decided to find a house that was their own. 

They owned a condo only a few blocks away, Tony thought it was cute.  Smaller than they would have had in the tower, but it seemed to suit them. 

They watched in near silence as Thor called Heimdall and in a flash of light, they were gone. 

“Cool.”  Clint said, finally turning his back from the center of the square. 

“Who wants to celebrate the lunatic leaving the planet?”  He was met by a lot of blank stares.  “Guess not.  Anyone want a ride home?”

There were a lot of glances around.  That was fine, it made sense that no one would trust him.  Mentally shrugging it off, he started walking to his car, only to be followed by Clint and Bruce. 

“Natasha will meet us there.  She’s packing up our rooms.”  Clint offered when he noted Tony’s surprise.

Tony tried not to smile.  “Great, the sneaky ones decide to stay.” 

 

It made for interesting living.  Steve lived at the Tower but was out for most of the day searching for his soulmate.  He had taken the list to heart and was working his way down, person by person.  Unfortunately for him, SHIELD had taken fairly high casualties so there was a lot of searching for someone who would never be able to answer his questions.

Bruce had left shortly after Loki was off-planet, though he had promised to return. 

Clint and Natasha made for surprisingly good housemates.  Not that Tony couldn’t have avoided them if he wanted to.  But he found himself searching them out, both individually and separately.  It was fairly common for some contingent to be awake at night.  Not exactly surprising given what they had all been party to.  Everyone had a Past, and it was a group that was pretty happy to just not talk about it. 

The first time he had half fallen on the couch next to Clint as Dog-Cops played one of their endless early morning marathons, Clint had given him a long surprised look.  “Didn’t think you’d want to join us poor people.”

Tony scoffed. “We’re both up at the ass end of the morning, we’re both poor in this situation.”

Clint had snorted slightly, “Guess you’ve had plenty of time to think about that.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

While neither of them slept, it was a comfortable enough situation that Tony, at least, fell into the hazy half asleep state that where his brain could slow down enough to feel restful. 

He startled awake when Natasha walked in just after sunrise.  “Morning.”  She said, before taking pity on the two of them and bringing over food (cereal, milk, and bowls.  Cooking wasn’t her strong suit). 

That became a fairly common occurrence, if he couldn’t sleep he would move towards that room claiming it was because the couches were comfortable.  A fact that was true, however not the main reason for his appearances. 

 

The first team up post-aliens was a bit of a disaster.  The team was limited, what with Bruce being unavailable and Thor off world.  Luckily Clint, Natasha, and Tony had earned an easiness in their friendships that did manage to find its way onto the field. 

Steve was a bit of a different situation.  He had spent so much time looking for his soulmate (Tony appreciated the search if only so he didn’t have to subtly avoid Steve when he was in the tower) that he hadn’t had a chance to get to know the people who were functionally his coworkers. 

It could have gone so much worse, but not by too much.  Tony took down a building that was teetering dangerously towards an apartment building after Natasha had cleared it, unfortunately Steve hadn’t heard Natasha’s note it was cleared, and tried to run in while the building was falling in an attempt to save the structure.  Without the super soldier serum it would have been much worse.  But it didn’t change the fact that it distracted Tony’s attention from the fight to trying to make sure Steve was okay, leaving Clint without a pickup when he made a leap from a tall building.  He had the grappling hook arrows, but unfortunately used a defective one that snapped under his full weight.  The fall wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but it wasn’t good. 

The one saving grace was the anger from the fallout helped Natasha and Tony work together to wrap up the two-bit villain who was trying to rob a bank in the most nonsensical way possible; by blowing it up and hoping the money wouldn’t be damaged.  Not exactly a strategic mastermind, that one.

Still, when Steve up and walked away, albeit with a limp, and Clint needed help getting up and immediate medical attention, Tony couldn’t help but to get pissed off.

“What were you thinking running into that building?” Tony’s voice wasn’t loud, but it held that trace of barely holding on.  Which he was, he had just watched Clint being accepted into the medical ward at the local hospital.  He wasn’t sure if it was Tony’s name or the severity of the injury that had caused the immediate attention, but regardless, the level of attention Clint received warranted a level of nerves.

“I was thinking I need to save the people inside.”  Steve said, sounding a little self-righteous. 

“Not out here!”  Natasha hissed.  She was right, of course she was.  A bright red and gold robot and literal Captain America were sure to gather some attention.

Tony knew the hospital well, was actually on their board, and jerked his head before storming down a hallway towards the conference room.  Luckily, it was empty, he didn’t know what cards he would have played to make it so, but was sure it wouldn’t have looked good. 

As soon as the door was shut he opened up the suit. “If you had been listening at all you would have heard Natasha say the building was clear.  There were no people in there.”

“What?” Steve looked at Natasha to corroborate. 

“It was empty Steve.”  She didn’t sound angry, but then again she wasn’t a woman to wear her emotions out for everyone to see.  Yet she wasn’t looking at Steve, but at Tony. 

“You’re telling me that I’m too rash and I run into things but at least I listen to what people have to say.”  Tony bit out.  “Now Clint is in critical condition because you haven’t taken the time to get to know the people you saved the goddamn world with.”

“I had to find my soulmate.  Surely you understand that!”

Tony laughed bitterly, “What makes you think I would?  The playboy lifestyle I’m oh so famous for?”

“Well it might not matter to you, but I had to find her, and once I did I needed to get to know her.”  Now that was a shock. 

“You found your match?”  Sudden relief, Tony wasn’t Steve’s match.  There was no way that could have ended well, and being taken off the table made everything better. “Who?”

Steve got a dreamy, if not slightly pained smile.  “Maria Hill.”

“Backup agent, agent?”

Natasha elbowed him not too nicely.  “She’s a good woman Rogers.  That still doesn’t excuse you trying to lead a group you’ve only worked with once before.” 

And that made his dreamy smile creep more into pained.  There was no way to overlook the fact that they were having this fight in a hospital.  “I know, and I’m going to have to do better.  But…”  he trailed off, leaving the sentence unsaid. 

Pushing his hands through his hair Tony sat heavily in one of the roller chairs around the large table.  “We have to take this seriously, don’t we?” His mind whirred, “elect a leader, set up training, recruit help, and hire personal medical attention?”

Natasha nodded, “We can use SHIELD resources to get started.”

“I don’t’ want to be dependent on them.”  Tony said stiffly.  Steve nodded.

“Maria might work with SHIELD but the way they hid the weapons made from the Tesseract makes me worry.”

“I’m not saying we have to be dependent on them, but we can look at how they function to build up.  We need someone to act as support, to give us information while we fight on the ground.”

“We need someone to look macro while we work micro.”

“Yes,” she looked between the men.  “But first, we need to check to make sure that Clint is okay.”

She was out of the room almost before Tony and Steve had agreed.  Tony sighed and stepped back into the suit, he needed to talk to Pepper and Jarvis but hadn’t exactly had time to reach for his phone. “Cap you want to head back to the tower?”  Steve hesitated.  “We probably only need one person here, I’ll be Natasha’s backup… It sucks, but Clint is going to be fine, back to his sarcastic self in no time.  And then we’ll buckle down and work to make this better next time.”

Steve swallowed heavily and Tony was brutally reminded about how young he was.  The myth, the legend, all paled when confronted with the man.  He was just some kid who had always done the best with what he had.  And here he was, putting more pressure on himself. 

“Get some rest, talk to your soulmate.” Steve nodded and finally left.

Tony went and found a doctor to point him in the right direction.  It appeared that Tony’s name had likely caused the rush.  Clint may have been plugged into numerous machines but he was sitting up in bed and looking at Natasha while she talked to him.  She smiled a true genuine smile, and reached out to touch his arm.

Tony felt a twinge, a longing for their relationship.  He had Rhodey, who he didn’t get to see rarely enough, and Pepper… but both of them had their own lives; Pepper had her soulmate and her dream job, Rhodey had a job he loved, a huge family, and more friends than Tony could imagine keeping up with… for the first time in years, Tony wished he had a soulmate.  It wasn’t as if he could forget he had somehow had found his words, but it was a background hum.  A hum he was tempted to bring to the surface.

He was about to turn to go home, to reach out to Pepper and Rhodey, to figure out his life when he noticed Natasha waving him in.  He stepped out of the suit, setting it to guard mode, and went in to talk to Clint.

“How’s it feel belly-flop?”

“That the best you could do?”

“I mean, I can make an archer joke whenever I want.  Missing a joke about your lack of grace would be a missed opportunity.”

“Fuck you lack-of-grace, I’ve never hit concrete prettier than that.”

Tony turned to Natasha, “That true?”

She held up a hand and shifted it back and forth in the universal symbol of ‘eh.’ 

“So, what’s up?”

“Hell of a lot of bruises.”  Clint said as Natasha started in on a laundry list that started with a sprained wrist and ended with a fractured rib. 

“Anything that means you have to stay overnight?”

Clint shrugged before wincing, pulling his left arm to his ribs. He breathed out harshly before leaning back to his pillows.  Just enough movement to show off the hint of writing on his forearm. 

It kind of just pushed it in that Tony didn’t belong there.  Didn’t need to get in between Clint and Natasha. 

“They’re going to keep him overnight at least, just to make sure he didn’t also manage to get a concussion.  I already told them he had a thick head but…”

“Screw you.”  Clint said, affection obvious in his voice. 

“Already have.”  Natasha smiled back. 

Situations were only awkward if you allowed it to be.  Tony smiled, “Cute.  Look I need to check in with Pepper about SI, and get back to a project.  You going to be okay here for tonight?  Need me to send you anything?” 

He ignored the flitting grimace across Clint’s face as he stood.

“At the very least I’ll have someone bring you some food.  Doesn’t matter how expensive the hospital, the food is always subpar.”

 

He called Pepper on the way home, sent a quick text to Rhodey and was back in his lab in no time.  Sitting at his tool bench he was half-heartedly fiddling with the widow’s bite.  Clearly Natasha could use an update.  But he couldn’t focus.  Finally he lost the fight against the urge to see his words.  He was surrounded by too many happy couples to not at least know what his soulmate said. 

His hands were shaking as he took off his shirt.  He had no idea what they could say.  The back of his brain told him it would be a jab; something about his past as a war monger, his time in Afghanistan, how he couldn’t do anything right. 

“J, could you focus a camera on my words and put it up on the wall?”  It seemed like a lot considering he could have had Jarvis tell him what they were, but he was starting to ascribe power to them.  The same power they would have had when he was a child, searching every night in hopes he would find his person…

The wall in front him flickered on and Tony closed his eyes to take one final fortifying breath.  He opened his eyes.  “Is this a joke?”

‘HEY’ was written on the wall in letters almost a foot high. 

“Jarvis, are these my words?”

“Indubitably, sir.”

“I’m one of the assholes with a match it’s going to be impossible to find?”

“Would you like me to compile a list the same way I did for the Captain?”

Tony shrugged his shirt back on.  “No.”  He bit out, “waste of time.  Don’t know when they showed up anyway…. Shut down the lab.  Nothing else is going to happen tonight.”

On his way back to his room he grabbed a handle of expensive whiskey.  It was stupid.  It was so stupid that he had started to think that finding a soulmate might be a viable option.  Ignoring the years upon years of fucking up and his inability to make anyone proud (anyone other than the Saint that Jarvis had been)… he had started to think that maybe, just maybe it could work for him.  But not knowing when the words had appeared and the short generic word didn’t exactly narrow it down. 

There was going to be a lot of heavy drinking that night, and he didn’t want to have to worry about crashing his lab. 

Waking up the next morning was less coming into consciousness and more the slow realization that every part of his body ached, his stomach was trying to kill him, and that everything was too bright.  The tile was warm underneath his face, never a good sign.  He pried his eyes open and found he was in his bathroom, drunk him had apparently been smart enough to throw up in the shower.  “Yay me, Jarvis?”  He croaked, the noise of speaking enough to make him need to shut his eyes to block out any stimulus. 

“Sir?” The AI had turned his volume down, thankfully. 

“Could you book the cleaners, make sure to add the traditional day after a rampage bonus.”

“Yes sir.  I would like to note that rarity of mornings like these and hope that this morning is only a blip in your record.”

“We can only hope so, J.  Gotta stop letting myself hope.”  He slowly moved to a sitting position, leaning up against the wall.  “Start the shower please?”

“I quite enjoy you being hopeful, though.” The shower clicked on, washing away the vomit that hadn’t quite started drying on the tile.  Tony let his head drop against the wall behind him, letting the water hit him, wishing that was all he needed to do to be clean.  “Maybe we could find you better things to hope for.”

It took a while but he did manage to get up and get moving.  Food was off the table, but coffee was still a necessity.  As were the sunglasses he was wearing inside.  “Rough night, Stark?”  Natasha asked him from one of the comfy couches as he left the kitchen with his coffee.

“You could say that.”  He said noncommittally.

“What would you say?”

“Reliving my extended youth.” 

“What is it actually?” 

“Are we at the stage where we braid our hair and paint our nails?”

She shot him a look. 

He shrugged, “surrounded by people with matches.  Makes it a bit more obvious I’m not.  Besides, SI is dealing with some fallout from yesterday. Watching the head of R&D blow up a building that Captain America was in doesn’t exactly look good.” 

And lucky for him that was exactly when Steve Rogers walked into the room.  His posture immediately wilted.  “I’m sorry.”

Tony waved it away, “We survived the press learning I have a fondness for restraints and lace, this will only be a blip.”

Natasha chuckled and pushed a chair out with her feet towards Steve, “Join us Rogers.”

“Steve, please,” he offered while grabbing the chair and joining them.  “I’m sorry for not having made a better attempt to get to know you.”

“I understand.  When I first found my match we were inseparable. Our handlers kept losing us to each other.  Got us in a quite a bit of trouble.” The nostalgia was clear on her face, enough that Tony felt the need to look away.  Steve didn’t seem to have the same urge.

“What happened to them?”  A question Tony never would have thought.  The answer was obvious, Clint was in the hospital.  He was in rough shape, but pretty darn close by.

“I lost track of him when I defected.  I’ve heard about him here and there, but… they had ways of making us forget each other.  Fresh words every time.” 

Tony’s head snapped up, “Not Clint?” 

Natasha actually laughed.  “No, of course not, he only just got his words.”  She cocked her head, and when nobody else said anything she leaned back in her chair.  “How is Maria?”

“She’s wonderful, she’s doing her best to help Fury rebuild, and there was a lot of damage done during the invasion.  She’s Fury’s second-in-command” he practically sighed this fact, “it’s one of my favorite things about this future that women are finally allowed and even expected to have a career.” 

“Have you taken her on a proper date yet?”

Steve shook his head.  “There’s been too much to do.”

“That’s a shame, you should take her out tonight.  J, can you set the Cap up with a reservation someplace fancy?  Put it on my tab.”

Steve looked shocked.  “Tony, you don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t have to.  Would you prefer I took it back?”  Steve shook his head, “That’s right! Maria deserves a fancy dinner with a man in a finely tailored suit, which reminds me… J?”

“I’ve already scheduled him in with your personal tailor this afternoon.”

“Love that you’re a mind reader.  Natasha, anything you want?  I’m in a giving mood.”

“A shopping trip with Pepper?”

“No promises.  But how about a pair of Louboutin’s?” That was apparently an acceptable answer.

“Ordered, I believe you are a size 8.5 Agent Romanov?”  Jarvis asked.

“Got it in one.”

 

To hide from his problems, Tony dutifully went to the board meeting.  It was his first in a while, he could almost measure the length of time by the surprise on their faces.  The audible gasp from one person and general discontent from the others put it at about 3months since his last one. 

He took his place at the head of the table, as was his right, and immediately stopped paying attention.  His StarkTablet on the table in front of him, he spent the entire meeting poking around on it.  At five minutes before the end of the meeting he checked his watch and knocked on the table twice, interrupting Carl Tuttle. 

“Okay, we’re going to scrap the whole insight project, that’s a waste of money.  We need to figure out a way to keep the phone and tablet screens from breaking, R&D should focus on that, I’ve sent over some specs that could help.  We need to continue funneling resources towards the rebuild, rather than decreasing.  It’s good for PR, but we also need our city based employees to have access to things like grocery stores and public transportation, much less homes that aren’t open-air… To think any other way is short sighted.  If we want to try to save the money get our PR team on talking to the media about our efforts, find employees who are volunteering and profile them.  And no,” he turned to look at around the table, “we are not re-opening our weapons division and if you keep suggesting it I will use my vast amounts of money to personally ruin anyone who says otherwise.”  He looked back at his watch.  It was officially the end of the meeting.  “Good seeing you, Places to be, people to see.”  He winked, half-heartedly waved, and was immediately out of there. 

He was only in the car for two minutes before Pepper called him.  “Dammit Tony!”

“Pep, I like to keep you on your toes.”

“That’s not the point Tony.”

“We talked about this, If I go too far in the right direction, you can compromise with what we are supposed to do and look like a hero for tempering me.”

“I remember.  But you forgot to add on the fact that we need to be giving a bonus to our New York employees.” 

He cursed under his breath, “I knew I forgot something.  I was just in a bit of a rush, I wanted to pick Clint up from the hospital.  Natasha spent all night there and didn’t want to be on pick up duty.”

She sighed.  He could easily picture her, still sitting in the board room.  The rest of the board members would have left, meaning she had already kicked off her shoes and was leaning back in her chair with her feet kicked up on the seat closest to her.  Speakerphone on, head leaning against her hand, she would be desperately wishing for a very dry martini.  “Of course you are.”

“At least I showed up?”

“That you did, thank you for that.  Now if we could only make it happen more often.”

“We can both dream Pepp, we can dream.”

That got a laugh, a tired laugh, but a laugh.  “You know you could make it happen.”

“I’m just trying to do better.”  He offered, hoping she wouldn’t pick up on the vein of levity in the short sentence.  Knowing that she would always pick up on it.

“And I am so proud of you for that.”

“But a tiger can’t change its stripes.”  They said in unison, a favorite phrase of theirs since early in their partnership.

“Tell Sam I said hi.”

“He’ll appreciate it more if you send another one of those muffin baskets, his clients love those.”

“Done.”

Tony put the car in park just outside the entrance of the hospital and typed a message to Jarvis ordering the muffin basket, to kill some time before Clint was released. 

As soon as the wheelchair was outside, Tony honked.  He drove up, “Wasn’t sure if you’d be able to find me if I didn’t.”  He said out the open window. 

“Of course not.  Hard to tell the Maserati apart from all of the beaters.”

Tony exited the car laughing.  He helped Clint stand up and get into the car.  He shook hands with the nurse, and even took a quick selfie before hopping back into the car and accelerate probably a little bit quicker than he should have, given Clint’s situation. 

“Feeling better?”

“They definitely gave me a prescription that I am going to take full advantage of for the next 24 hours.”

“Sounds like a dog-cops kind of day.”

“Are you reading my mind right now?

“Pretty sure no one has ever accused me of that before.”  Tony weaved the car in and out of traffic.  It was one of the many cars he kept in his garage, the kind that was mean to go 120 but was forever stuck in a garage. 

They fell into a fairly companionable silence until they stopped at a light.  At least until curiosity called for Tony to break it.  He gestured towards the arm that Clint had tucked against his stomach.  “Miss Muffet mentioned you just got your words.  Congratulations.”

There was a long strained silence, long enough that Tony looked away from what was in front of him to see the tightening in Clint’s face.  “Thanks.”  Clint said, without enthusiasm.

Tony turned back to the windshield, conversations were always easier without eye contact. “Not excited about it”

Even from the corner of his eye he could tell that Clint was trying to shrug, until realizing with his ribs wouldn’t allow it.  The attempt left his hand clutching at his seat belt, white-knuckled to avoid showing any other pain.  “My match doesn’t seem particularly excited about it.  Can’t blame them either.” 

“Are you kidding?  Who wouldn’t want to match with an Avenger? I’ve had women fake matching with me for years. The number didn’t exactly decrease when it came out I was Iron Man.”

The car pulled into the garage.  “Well, let’s just say I’m a special circumstance.  Tony Stark, who wouldn’t want to be a part of that… the guy who fucked up SHIELD and barely saved his ass in the alien invasion not so much.”

The line was meant to be a joke, but it fell oh so flat.  Clint seemed to pull into himself once he realized that the bitterness in his voice couldn’t be masked.  And Tony?  Tony was intimately familiar with that tone, the sound of every fault every made being pointed out and piled up on top of each other until the guilt of failure made every breath that much more difficult. 

Putting the car in park he turned to Clint.  “You didn’t have a choice in that.  It’s not your fault… and I know that being told that is a long way from believing it…” he noticed his hands were clenched into tight fists pushing into his thighs.  He took a long moment to take a deep breath.  “You know who your match is, you have the ability to change their mind… I don’t know who mine is, had to have gotten my words recently but I’m not sure when.  I don’t exactly have a way of searching them out.”

When he finally braved looking up to see Clint’s face, all he saw was confusion.  “You really don’t know?”

“Know what?” He sat back in his seat, “It’s probably a good thing.  The people who fake being my match are only looking at my name and money.  They don’t think about the fact that I created weapons that killed untold amounts of people, I wake up with Nightmares of Afghanistan, that I haven’t had a good night of sleep since the wormhole.” He closed his eyes, conversation was always easier when you didn’t have to look someone in the face.  “I don’t think that anyone deserves to deal with my neuroses.”

With his eyes closed he heard someone shifting on the leather seats. 

With his eyes closed he heard the rustle of the car door opening, and the thunk of it closing. 

His heart sunk.  It had been a long time since he had been that open with someone.  Only two other people had that distinction; Pepper and Rhodey.  Neither of them knew about the continued nightmares, yet.  Tony hadn’t been brave enough to tell them.  It would have to be okay though.  He would pick himself back up and pretend that he hadn’t bared his soul. Not like it would be hard, he had cultivated a public persona since a young age.

With his eyes closed the rush of air from his left came as a surprise. 

Clint had taken his time walking around the car, but was waiting, leaning heavily on the side of the car. “Where are your words?”

Warily, Tony stepped out of the car, leaving the door open.  “Here,” he pointed to the spot on his back just above his right hip.  “They say ‘Hey,’ or so I’ve been informed.”

Clint just stared at him, first in disbelief before humor started to color his face.  “Mine is a little more memorable.”  He held out his arm, with the writing scrawled in the same spot his arm guard would cover when he was working.  ‘Don’t forget, Merida, that I paid for this coffee maker.’ 

“Huh,” it seemed oddly specific to him. Also while marks weren’t normally hidden, it was odd to be seeing one so brazen.  “Did Natasha make fun of you when Brave came out?”

“She rushed me to the theater and made me watch it twice.  We even paid to see it the second time.  She kept calling herself mama bear.”

Tony snorted, and then it came to him.  Why it all felt so familiar.  “Wait.”

Clint smiled, “Bingo.  I thought you had figured it out and,” the smile fell, “just didn’t want the SHIELD reject.”

“Are you kidding, why would I care about what the clowns at SHIELD think?”  He looked at the way Clint was leaning on the car and realized, “We should get you inside.”

“Please?”

Tony made quick work of locking up the car before gently shuffling Clint towards the elevator.  “My floor or yours?”

Clint looked really conflicted.  “Depends.  How do you feel about pets?”

“Is this a hypothetical situation?”

“Depends on the answer.”

“They seem like a lot of work…”

Clint looked at him as he slumped against the wall. Clearly he was nearly past the point of exhaustion.  “Fuck it, you’ll meet him eventually.  Let’s do my place.”

The elevator took them up and when the doors opened, Tony was tempted to whistle.  The unit, which has been spotless only a month before was filthy.  There were leftover takeout containers stashed all over the place, three coffee carafes sitting near the kitchen sink and broken arrows seemed to pop up in places they really should have.

“Do I need to hire you a maid service?”

Clint gave a nervous smile.  “Wait a second before asking that. Yo, Lucky!” and out popped the most pitiful looking dog Tony had ever seen (considering the only ones he had ever seen in person were the ones from the Westminster dog show that was a pretty easy feat, a Labrador retriever that was missing one eye, seemed to have patchy fur, and smelled pretty foul.

“Okay, so first we’re going to need a dog groomer.”

Clint slowly made his way to the couch and groaned as he put a hand down to slow his motion.  The dog was immediately on him.

“Like a dog groomer would come anywhere near this guy.”

“For what I would pay them they would.”  Tony took another two steps closer.  It still hadn’t quite hit him that he had found his match.  That he might actually have what he had seen two of his closest friend’s find, what he had always secretly hoped for.  “How long did you know it was me?”

Clint’s face was buried in his dog’s fur.  “Since the very beginning.  It’s a pretty unique phrase you gave me.”

“Better than ‘hey’ at the very least.”

“Sorry about that, but how was I supposed to know?”

Tony sat down on the couch a good foot away.  The dog looked away from Clint to him and bodily turned around (causing Clint no small amount of pain in the meantime) to woof lowly at him and then nudge at his hands.  And suddenly Tony realized why people loved dogs.  Petting a dog kept his hands busy in the same way building did, but with more room to think.

“So, the very beginning?”  He left it open ended, wanting to know what Clint would fill in.

“Yeah, told Nat right away. She kept trying to convince me to tell you.”

“I understand why you didn’t.  I found my words right after Rogers found his and was half convinced he was my match.  I demanded Pepper not tell me my words in case they were a match for him.”

“Matching with the golden child would be a nightmare for us fuck-ups wouldn’t it?”  Clint said lazily. 

Tony burst out laughing, “We’re perfectly matched aren’t we?”

“Well so far you seem to like my dog, you don’t mind my jokes, and the fact that I come with Natasha hasn’t scared you off… I could do worse.”

“That’s debatable, meanwhile you’ve got the ability to fuck around with the media with me, keep me company during the middle of the night, and those delicious arms.” 

“What kind of nighttime company are you talking about?”  Clint’s voice dropped in pitch.

“Are you really coming on to me with broken ribs and a pretty disgusting dog covering you?”

“Would I be your soulmate if I didn’t?”

“Are you just trying to distract me so we stop talking about….”

Clint flopped out his arm and put a single across Tony’s lips.  “Yes.  Did it work?”

Tony thought for a second, thought about all of the hard conversations they had before them, dealing with Clint’s issues having been brainwashed, his apparent ostracizization from SHIELD, Tony’s fears of space and what was to come, his worries about Afghanistan and his past… he looked at Clint.  Clint who was sprawled out on the couch, letting the oversized dog slobber all over him and everything else. His soulmate was in front of him looking delectable, if beat up.  There would be time for those serious conversations later.  He wanted to enjoy what he had found.  “Enough.”


End file.
